B&W Photographs

Looking at black and white pictures gives a different type of feeling than that of modern day pictures, I guess you can say "old vs new" or "film vs digital" or "b&w vs color". Black and white pictures, particularly in the timeframe of the 1940s to the early-60s, have this sophisticated yet mysterious air to it. Maybe its because the photographer has soften the picture. Maybe because they are only black and white.
Maybe because they people in the pictures made an effort to look their best. Maybe because its in a different time. Maybe. I guess that's why they say "pictures are worth a thousand words".

<--- my mom (circa 1977)

                                                               my dad (circa 1960) --->

<--- my dad and grandmother (circa 1948)

my mom's family (circa 1960) ->

what to do now...

It has been over a week since I arrived in Madrid and I have already began the countdown to getting out of here. Yes, Madrid is where you sort of say its my home, but I have no friends and family here. Lets just say that the other family member here doesn't realize that I exist and my parents are currently in the other side of the world, literally! At least if my parents where living here there would be some kind of distraction from my boredom and my need to organize and re-organize, but I have to suck it up and deal with the fact that I have to create my own distractions. You might suggest to me to get out of the house, but I don't feel that I deserve to do that until my dissertation is done (which it almost is!).
I don't even know why I am here. I should've gone elsewhere. Maybe stayed in Munich and be able to see Brian almost everyday or head to Buenos Aires and be with my family or maybe head to Australia and be with my parents, told you they were far.
As I sit here and write this entry I realize I need to limit myself what I have to say. In other words, I have to try not to sound too pessimistic or too down, because that doesn't justify the person that I truly am.
"Who am I?" you might ask. well, the more you read on this blog the more you will find out about me. But until then I will comfortably sit on my mom's recliner chair and watch a marathon of NCIS!

G'bye UK, Hello Spain

So after a year being in the UK I'm back in Spain. It was quiet sad leaving uni and heading back here, as it should be. My day started off a little bit on the delayed side. I had went to bed late, shocker, and realized that when I had set my alarm clock I had changed the time NOT the alarm...GO ME!!! After waking up I realized I couldn't meet the girls at Tara's house for brunch, I still had to shower, make my empty room look clean, pack those last minute items, check-out and catch the bus to the airport. Thankfully I didn't have to do the 10am check-out(I had emailed accommodation a while back asking them if I could check-out later since I had to catch a late flight and didn't want to be walking around campus with my suitcases and as you can see they graciously agreed.), I was told it was like madness checking out because there was only one lift working and just getting an empty lift down was beyond impossible. The good thing was that the girls agreed to meet a little later on campus to grab lunch, which was much needed because I had no food. After lunch and saying my farewells to the girls I headed to my room and tried to connect to the internet (the school thought it was a great idea to shut-down our internet the day we moved out). That took about 20 mins, give or take, and then by the time I got myself ready it was time to leave. Thankfully I didn't have a huge problem with the lift, but the lift did stop at one floor where this guy was trying to fit his and his friends suitcases without a care in the world about the rest of the people in the elevator. NICE! I headed to accommodation, check-out and the plus side was I got my £40 deposit back! (not much but its something when you dont want to get anymore pounds since you are heading to an Euro country). So I headed to the bus stop with enough time and found another classmate who was also heading to the airport to head to Munich (I wish she and I could've switched places, that I way I could've gone see Brian). At that same moment Tara and Jess were making their way to the bus stop and saw me and decided to hang out and say g'bye one last time....CUTE!!! The bus arrived and I chatted with the girl heading to Munich for a bit and then Brian called me. Got to the airport perfectly on time BUT I had excess baggage. Its ok, since I'm moving I was more than willing to pay...but £45 for 4kg, YIKES!!! After paying the excess I went onto airport security and my carry-on was again over-weight...£30 for 3kg!!!After all that and getting my carry-on checked, I forgot I was carrying liquid...my bad. I head to Boots one last time, they don't have that kind of store in Spain, and to Mac Cosmectics, HUGE price difference between Mac at the airport and Mac in Spain. I was heading to my gate when I saw that the new Dan Brown book was out and was tempted to buy it, I ended up not getting it because I still need to finish up on my dissertation and I had no space on my carry-on :( I boarded and landed perfectly with my brother picking me up at the airport. Madrid is freeeeeezing, I think it might even be colder than Colchester. Apparently the temperature went from 34℃ to 12℃ (93℉ to 53℉) CRAZY!!! Now I'm back in Madrid until I get my fiance visa, knock on wood...*knock*knock*knock).

Can't believe its been one year.

Essex Girls

The girls gave me this shirt

Just a thought...

Its been almost a year since I arrived in the UK to do my masters and now its over. I can't believe how fast time has flown by. There's been good, great, bad and horrible moments, but what would life be without those moments.

The University

Explain to me this, how does a university, were postgrads make up half of the student body, "close" during the summer months?

Here are some examples:

- library is open on weekends until 17h30. So if you want to anything research after that you are basically screwed.

- they decide now is the best time to do all the maintenance on the building because its not like we have dissertations due in the next couple of days (mind you there is about a 2 weeks gap between the time we leave accommodation and the time the new students arrive).

- the campus shop (the convenient shop were you can get everything and they carry "Fair Trade" products) underwent a renovation, which, to be honest, I don't see any "renovation" (its now open and it looks the same.) Anyways, during this renovation period they closed it and open a little campus shop, which barely carried enough milk to supply 20 students!

- the majority of the campus restaurants are closed. So if you fancy a meal in restaurant you have to venture in town, which isn't bad, but still.

- the campus club decided that it would not do any "mini-clubs" and did not inform anyone of this.

- the bar shuts down at 23h00. Seriously, why? we are postgrad students in need of a solid drink!

I think I could add more but then I'd really be bashing it to the ground, so I'll stop there. Basically, its not fair how we have been treated during the summer months. Not cool.

Stressed

Stressed. Ever seen those cartoons where the character is pulling out his/her hair, sweating and jumping up and down like a crazy person? Well, that's how I feel at the moment. I'm getting married in December of this year and things are not going as planned or anything like it. I knew this was going to be stressful, but I didn't imagine the intensity of it. Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I have the most stressful life in the world and that no one can compare to how I'm feeling because we all know that is a complete lie. Yes I'm stressed, but there are far more worse things in life that one could be stressed for (such optimism, Brian would be proud!).

The wedding is one stress. Since the wedding is going to take place in Louisiana and I'm all the way in the UK...well, I think you get the picture. Then my visa to get married in the US (not a US citizen). Then my thesis/dissertation which I have to hand in by the 15th of October perfect. Then my parents, I love them, but they sure know how to trigger my stress buttons. Finally, being far from Brian. He's in a different country and so I dont get to see him as often as I would like.

So those are a few things that are stressing me out currently. Like I said, other people are going through far worse and stressful things than me, so I know it can't be that bad (I hope).

Double digits

We are in double digits now, only 99 days left! I can't believe how fast time has flown, but at the same time i'm glad it has. It will almost make two years of being engaged! I can't wait to be finally married. not so much about the wedding, just being married and being able to be called "Mrs. XXXXX". I never thought i would be the first of my friends to get married. From high school, well, if you consider....would I consider her? good question. Anyhow, from high school, undergrad and so forth I'm the first of my friends to get married.

I'm also kind of excited of becoming a marine wife and at the same time a little intimidated. Excited because it will be a challenge, not a fun one, but it will challenge me and I think I'm looking forward to that. Intimidated because the majority of these women, who obviously are married have had their experience, are going to be "on top" with things, meanwhile I'll be in the corner reading "how to be a military wife". My main concern will be getting a job in my field, which is in human rights (yes I know, I'm marrying a marine and I'm a human rights person...heard all the jokes). I think the most exciting thing of it all will be just starting a completely new and different life.